The Timelords "Doctorin' the Tardis" KLF3CD

In early Spring 1988, Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty started to record (as "The Timelords") a dance record based around the Ron Grainger/Delia Derbyshire "Doctor Who" theme. Initially, they had hoped it would be rather a cool and trendy record, but none of the 120bpm beats they were using seemed to fit around the BBC Radiophonics Workshop's finest moment. And so, Jimmy tried something new (or rather, old) - a "Glitter" beat. Quickly, the JAMMs changed tack, and rather than a cool record, they started to revel in its novelty. Samples were thrown in of Gary Glitter and the Sweet, along with dialogue from the classic Tom Baker "Who" episode "Genesis of the Daleks". About the only thing non-seventies about the whole record were the cries of "Bosh bosh bosh Loadsamoney" (based on Harry Enfield's popular yuppie plasterer character) and the chorus of Bill, Jimmy and various studio engineers turning Gary Glitter's "Rock'n'Roll Part II" into the iconic lyrics "Doctor Who-oooo ... IN! ... the Tardis!"

Quite whether Bill and Jimmy were Doctor Who fans, or fans of glam rock, is difficult to tell - certainly, Bill would have been around 21 and Jimmy about 17 during the period in the seventies "Doctorin' the Tardis" seems to celebrate. The television show "Doctor Who" itself was fairly unfashionable in 1988, following a long period off the air, drastic changes in casting, and (above all else) a dreadful charity single called "Doctor in Distress". Within 18 months, the show was taken off the BBC's screens completely, only kept alive by fan productions, audio CDs and one flabby TV special, before finally triumphantly returning as a Saturday teatime ratings smash 16 years later, in 2005.

In the promotion of the single, Bill and Jimmy came up with idea that Jimmy's battered old 1968 Ford Galaxy US police car (apparently used in "Superman III") would actually front the record. Originally called the "JAMMs Mobile" (aping the sixties Monkeesmobile) the car got a name change ("Ford Timelord") and became the star of the "Doctorin' the Tardis" promotional video. The media, however, hated the rather unwieldy idea that a motor car had made a 7" single, and a lot of the time that angle of the promotion was ignored. Almost incidentally, though, Ford Timelord became an iconic symbol of Drummond and Cauty's parternship, appearing in almost all their videos until May 1991 (when it was replaced by a toy version of itself) while in real life it sat mouldering in the front garden of the Trancentral squat (confusingly, Jimmy seems to have actually owned two police cars, both of while "died" at some point in 1991).

Then ... the single went to number one for two weeks (as a 12" KLF3T and a 7" KLF3). Kids loved it (certainly, I did) and it became one of the summer's first hits of 1988. Bill and Jimmy triumphantly apppeared on "Top of the Pops" wearing matching black and white top hat and tails (and joined on stage by some of the crap cardboard Daleks from the video, rather than Ford Timelord himself). A months later, to keep the interest going, a remix 12" was issued, this time featuring (in retrospect, unfortunately) the "King of Glam" himself Gary Glitter, singing over the top. Two further remixes were included - an extended "Gary Joins the JAMs" and a minimalist mix which would itself point towards the KLF's next music venture: trance.

As summer turned to autumn, a small amount of video CD singles appeared of "Doctorin' the Tardis" (KLF3CD), released through Phonovision. Briefly popular in 1988/9, video CD singles included the song's promo as an extra file on the disc - however, they can't be played (or extracted) by a modern DVD drive; instead, the video files are only playable on ancient laser disc players.

These video CDs were "Tardis"'s last gasp release (save for an appearance on the 1988 Christmas Top of the Pops, with Gary Glitter himself), and are now a big rarity. I managed to pick up my copy for £3.00 in a box full of them, at Fopp Records in Aberdeen in 1998 (someone had found a whole load in an attic, and Fopp were selling them off for free). Now, it can go for £40 plus on ebay. This CD has been ripped at 320kps, and includes a unique track - the 2'23" video edit of "Tardis". All other 7" versions are about a minute longer.

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